Thursday, August 6, 2015

Promises

This scripture has held me together through our pregnancy and loss of Emi.
It was also read at her graveside service.

Angel Wings

Emi Danielle was born still at 22 wks on July 23, 2015. There are no words to describe the shock and the hurt of another loss. We are still holding on to the promises of God and the plan He has for us.




Thank you to everyone that has cooked dinner for us, called, messaged us, sent cards, prayed for us, and made donations in her memory. Your love and kindness has meant more than you will ever know.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

We're Having A .......

Everyone's Guesses



Having a girl!!!!!!


Emi Danielle!!!!

Snags

Do you ever feel like everything is going so well and something catches you just to put a snag in your journey. This doesn't mean everything falls a part, it just means there may be a little extra work involved.

Last week Jason and I went to my fetal anatomy scan at the high risk doctor's office. Everything looked great with the baby. Heart, lungs, brain - everything looked great. However, my body was once again not cooperating.

Dr. B (high risk doctor) came in and viewed the ultrasound and said she wanted to do an exam. Turned out, even though a had a cerclage stitch placed by Dr. C at 14wks, I was dilated 1cm. Which at 20wks 5days is not good.

Jason attempting to rest at the hospital.
I was sent to be observed at the hospital that has the NICU in our area. I was observed for contractions, which I didn't have. Kept over night and observed again the next morning. Since I was not in labor or showing signs of contracting we along with the doctors chose to go back in and do a rescue stitch. The procedure went really well and after some more observation I went home the next day.

Obviously I am on modified bed rest (meaning a can get up for short periods, but I'm not allowed to do anything) and my amazing husband is doing all the cooking and cleaning. I have a follow up appointment with the high risk clinic next week and another appointment with Dr. C the next week. The short term goal is to get me and baby to 24 weeks. Of course we would all like to get much further than that!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and I will try to keep updates coming.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

365



It has been one year sine we said goodbye to our baby girl.

Sometimes I can't believe we are already at this point and then other times I feel like this has been the longest year of my life.

I was just over 19 wks when my water broke with Meredith. I will be 19 wks tomorrow with our rainbow baby.

This past week I have had some nightmares of history repeating itself and have been more on edge.
The closer we got to today the more I have had to remind myself that this is a different pregnancy, this is a different outcome, and I am trusting God that there will be a different outcome.

Yet it isn't just the day she passed away, but her birthday too.

There are really no words to describe how any of this feels. I want to celebrate her and at the same time hide away.

Over the past couple of months I have started a new part time job and we have started attending a new church. This all equals to new people. Which means people that don't know our story, people that don't know what today means to us. I've only had one or two people ask if this this baby is our first (which honestly this question don't bother me). I'm happy to say that I've been able to say no and give them the shortest possible answer as to what that means (I tend to ramble (babble) so I always fear I'll go into way more detail than new people need to know).

So today is Meredith's birthday. The day we said hello and goodbye to our first child. The day she went to be in the arms of Jesus.

It is also the day that completely changed who I am. I know 100% I am not the same person. I see it in the way I respond to things, think about things, how quickly or slowly I do things. I still have bad days, although they are less frequent. But you know, I think I like who I'm becoming - who God has formed through the tears, the good days, the bad days, and all the other things in between.