Tuesday, April 23, 2013

eWomen Conference

Since my last posting a have caught two different bugs that have been going around the "general population" as the doctor put it. Needless to say I was not excited and had wished the "general population" had not been so generous with their germs. However, during all this I knew I had something to look forward to: the Extraordinary Women Conference in Pensacola, Fl. This would be the first time I would get to go and the theme was "Enduring Love". I was very excited.

Last Friday morning Me, Jessica, and Amanda loaded up my car and we headed out. Our lovely spring sunshine and 70 degree (F) weather had turned into rain showers and dropped into the 50s. I was determined this would not get to me! Friday night was great with comedian, Tim Hawkins and Christian Singer, Natalie Grant. Of course we laughed, cried, and stayed up way to late for the early morning start we had on Saturday.

Saturday (which was "warmer" with sunshine) was amazing. All the speakers were wonderful and spoke encouragement and hope into our hearts. Women turned their lives over to Christ and Compassion International had over 200 children sponsored through the event.

What the conference did for me:

It reestablished and confirmed my call to adopt a child. On Saturday morning they had an international children's choir that was made up of children from America, Asia, Africa, and other areas of the world that were previously orphaned. These adorable children led us in worship. I felt as though my heart was breaking with love for a child I have never even met.

I was also reminded of God's love for me. Margaret Feinberg, whom I had never heard of before this past weekend, spoke on the sacred echos that God gives us and that He is constantly trying to get us to hear 3 words: "I love you". Kasey Van Norman also spoke and said that there is a difference between believing in God and believing Him. In other words you can believe He exist, but not believe what He tells you. Which, is not how it's suppose to work.

Well, I'm not sure what song was playing during worship, but as we were getting to the next verse I opened my mouth to sing and nothing came out. I couldn't speak - all I could do was stand there, eyes shut, listening to what my God, my Father had to say to me. The sound of the worship band and the other women around me began to fade. All I could hear was a still small voice reminding me that He loved me. That I didn't need to understand anything except that He loves me. All I could do was weep, because I hadn't had this experience in so long. I use to fill this every time I worshiped. But after different life experiences and disappointments I had started to draw a line. I kept loving Him and kept worshiping Him, but I wasn't allowing His love for me to cross the line I had drawn.

I am praying this stays with me and that the only line I draw is a circle around me and God.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


A common phrase in many Christian communities is "season of life". Just as we have season of the year, we have seasons of life. Some are harsh, like the summer sun, or can be empty and barren, like a cold winter night. Other seasons can be filled with change, like leaves changes colors in autumn, or full of new life, like butterflies and flowers in the spring. Obviously some of these seasons are easier to walk through than others.

Most of us are aware at some point we will all walk through many seasons in our lives, good or bad. I think the problem is that good or bad we are always rushing to the next stage instead of resting in the one we are already in. We often don't allow God to work out what ever needs working out during that time. In high school, we want to be in college. In college, we want our career or to get married. Often times just after the first couple of years of marriage we want a child. When children are diapers and teething, we want that over with. When they hit puberty, we wish they would grow out of that stage. Then we long to have the house all to our selves, yet miss them when they leave and pray for grandchildren to come quickly. However, I doubt that anyone on their death bed says they wished their children would have moved out sooner or that they wished they had had less time with their husband.

In Philippians 1:6 the Bible says "... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus". Yet, how often do we act this way? God is working it out. Even when you feel as though things are at a stand still or that you are stuck and nothing is happening, God is working it out.

And I am preaching to the choir here! When I was single, I was looking for a relationship. After Jason and I began dating I constantly thought about the day we would get married. Shortly after we got married, I came down with baby fever. 5 years later I am still without child and have often found it hard to "just be" in the season God has me in. I wonder how much have a missed while I was constantly looking toward a future that I have no way of knowing what will be.  Everyday I am having to get up and remind myself that today is a gift and that tomorrow and what it holds is not promised.

I have to ask myself "what does God want me to do or what is He trying to do with me that if i was in a different season of life wouldn't happen?" and even though I don't always know the answer I know there is one.

I encourage you that if you are single, waiting to get married, jobless, without children, etc ask  "What can I do with my current season instead of what to do about it". (mission trip, volunteering, move, school, etc).

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11