Sunday, September 28, 2014

PCOS Awareness

September is a month set aside for awareness of many women's health issues. I, along with many others feel that some of these issues that can be just as deadly, hereditary, and common as others have been overlooked. I am often shocked as the number of women I meet that haven't been to the OBGYN in years and those that have symptoms of something wrong, but ignore them either out of fear or assuming what's going on is normal for them. Going to your doctor regularly is the only true way to know if you have any of these health issues. Early detection is key!

Click on one below to learn the symptoms:

PCOS (Risk: 1 in 10)
Ovarian Cancer (Risk: 1 in 72)
Cervical Cancer (Risk: estimated that over 12,000 women will be diagnosed this year)
Vaginal Cancer (Risk: 1 in 1,100)
Vulvar Cancer (Risk: 1 in 333)

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Update on Christian

Last night I posted about a little boy named Christian and his battle with cancer. Last night that battle was lost, but he is now in the arms of Jesus. I am heartbroken for his mother, as a parent should NEVER have to bury their child. I pray that they will focus on Jesus and know that He ultimately has a plan that maybe we don't understand but is perfect and wonderful. I pray they focus on knowing they will see Christian again and that he has been made whole and is no longer in pain. Above all I pray this family will grow closer together and that healing & salvation will come to them.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Christian's Special Spots

In the age of social media our world has changed.

On one hand we have become more socially awkward and have lost much of the art of communication.

However, on the other hand we have created a world that when someone, anyone, is going through a difficult journey (or have great things happen too) their loved ones and complete strangers alike can show their support. And people no longer feel as alone during rough seasons of their lives.

Often times we follow others online that have experienced the same situations as us or that support a cause that is dear to our own hearts. I know that I for instance follow blogs of other couples that have gone through infertility, loss, and/or are seeking to adopt. I also tend to follow families with children that have Nevus (click here for more info) after watching my sister go through it with her daughter,  Haleigh.

Right now there is a little 1 year old boy name Christian - click here that has touched my heart. He was born with the same type of birthmark as Haleigh. His sadly turned into cancer (melanoma). I don't know him or his family personally, but it breaks my heart to see what they are going through. He currently has an infection on top of everything else. His mom has posted that he is fighting, but he is getting tired, and that they are putting him in God's hands now.

Tomorrow (9/27/2014) at 10am (9am Central Time) the chapel at the hospital he's in is holding a prayer service. And although none of us are local to them I believe it's important that even those not there would stand with this family and pray at 10am (9am Central Time) tomorrow morning.

I also challenge you, if you are able, to help support this family financially as medical bills and other expenses will continue to be apart of their lives regardless of what the coming days may hold. They are also raising awareness with "I Hate Cancer" bracelets. You can visit their GoFundMe account be clicking HERE and order bracelets by clicking HERE.

Again, above all else pray for this precious baby and his family.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Meredith's Marker

Meredith's marker was installed. And on one hand I was really excited because I could finally put a flower arrangement out for her. Yet, This isn't something I should be looking forward to! Then there is the thought that is it. This is the last new thing to do for her. There is nothing else new. There will be flower arrangements as holidays and seasons change, but that isn't how I imagined celebrating my child's life. But I know God has chosen me for this life for a reason and one day I'll know why.

Who Am I Now?

Most questions I am asked I can answer with ease. Yet there are a couple that I'm not really sure how to answer because the answers vary or I honestly don't know.

The question is asked in different ways but it's pretty much the same: "What have you been up to?", "What do you do now?" "What are your plans?". And I know that this question is asked because it's easier to ask than "How are you?", because typically the answers are easier to hear.

This particular question is the easier of the two tough questions I get asked because often there is some kind of an answer I can give depending on who is asking. Yet there are times that I hate this question because truthfully the answer could be that for the past two days I woke up, breathed, cried, reminded myself to eat, and went to bed that night. The thing is, that's perfectly ok for me to do that some days, but I hate telling people the real answer when it is the case.

Losing Meredith completely changed my life.

I went from anticipating stages of pregnancy to uncertainty, fear of it happening again, and avoidance of situations that remind me of what I've lost. I know that I will never experience trying to get pregnant and pregnancy without some form of anxiety. It took us almost 6 years to conceive Meredith and I have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that it could take that long again. And although there is a plan in place for the next pregnancy to prevent extreme early delivery there is no guarantee that it won't happen again.

I went from working 40 hrs a week to being a house wife for the time being. Sometimes, I actually hate meeting new people because the first question I'm usually asked is "Where do you work?" or "What do you do?". Well, in that context, I currently do nothing and trying to explain that to someone who has no idea what happened to Jason and I over the Summer is extremely difficult. I either end up sounding vague or the explanation creates an uncomfortable first meeting.

I'm a mom with no children at home to fill my day. 

It's more than likely just me, but I feel like they must be asking themselves what could I possibly be doing all day, but they don't ask because no one wants to hear me respond with "surviving and missing my daughter!"

When it comes to me getting a job there is a question that I really don't want to answer on an application and absolutely dread being asked in an interview!

Who are you?

This question actually leaves me speechless.

The reason? I've always answered that question with my job, my plans, my goals...

But right now I honestly have no answer, especially for those that don't know my story.

I guess my best answer right now is a woman trying to find her new normal. Obviously there are things that haven't changed: I'm new creation in Christ, a friend, a sister, a daughter, and a wife (although, I often times feel like I'm failing miserably at each of these at different times). 

I don't feel this way everyday or all day on the days that these thoughts come up. However these thoughts are there and I know there are others that struggle with this too. The struggle of dealing with being something for so long that when you aren't that anymore you have to reevaluate the world around you. Or the struggle of preparing for something that doesn't come to reality, again you have to step back a readjust to the new reality that is around you. And that is what everyday is for me right now: an adjustment.